Allah's fate.

hey, i wanted to tell you guys about love story of my life. i've never feel the meaning of love. i keep on searching and searching. but there's no one I can feel the love. the person i can be with. but when I'm 12 years old. i met NS. he taught me to love but only for short time. not long after that, when i'm 15 years old. i lose my grandmother. Taruyah Binti Gapor. and that is the time I first time feel how is it like when we losing a person that we really love. that 2009, i'm so lost. i don't have anyone by my side that i can trust. until. i met SHL. she tells me, she likes me. :'( so, she asked me will I accept to be her girlfriend? yes, she is a tomboy. but the relation only lasts for six days. i asked SB to helped me. but it was turn out me and her become lovers. -.-' i don't even know what to do. so, i just be with SB. then, day after day. i'm started to like SB. and I love her with all my life. but we had to break because we're PMR that time. so, that is the last time I becoming lesbian. then, i met HA. he was the first man who opened my heart to love again in september 2010. i was in love with him that time. because he's can protected me from anything and he love with for the way I am. he can makes me laughed. and he can taught me about religion. he was a good man. but i was fool and blind because after that i'm in love with RF. JUST for that time because i doesn't ready for any relationship yet because HA and me doesn't talked to each other due to him confessing his love for me. but i declined because I'm in love with RF. RF and me doesn't contact anymore because i don't trust him. then in april 2011. i found HO. he may younger than me but i love him for the way he are. then. we break in july. and that's it. i guess you all know about the 'Sad Story' that i posted yesterday right? and that's the story of me and HO. and now. i'm alone. i don't know where to find someone like HA and HO. yeah that's it.

until the next post.

sincerely pais